There is nothing easy about being a dad. And when you are going through a divorce, the job gets even harder. At Charles R. Ullman & Associates, our dedicated Raleigh divorce attorneys work with many fathers who are making this tough transition. We have helped countless divorced dads successfully cope with child custody and child support issues. In fact, Mr. Ullman’s commitment to these complex family law matters has earned him certification from the North Carolina State Bar’s Board of Legal Specialization.
For many divorced dads, the time spent with their children is both cherished and stressful. Your family time is different from how it was before, and you may feel added pressure, like you are competing with your spouse. The National Center for Fathering suggests the following tips for making the most of your time with your children.
Do not talk bad about your ex. No matter how difficult of a time you are having with your former spouse, keep it between the two of you. Talking to your children about it only puts a strain on their relationship with both of you.
Show support for your kids. Your children need extra love and attention during this stressful time. Make every effort to show them you are there for them, even if you are no longer married. Attend baseball games and gymnastic practices, anything to show them that they are a priority.
Talk to your kids about what is happening. Your kids are going to be experiencing a lot of emotions as they make this transition. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, and reassure them that your love for them has not changed.
Put your dating life on the back burner. It is not unreasonable for divorced dads to want to find love again. However, it is best to wait until your children have adjusted to their new family life before bringing another person into the picture.
Behaviors to Expect from Your Children
Just as divorce changes you, it also changes your children. And you can expect to see some behavior that you may not have experienced before. Be prepared to see your children:
Acting out. Your children may feel angry, resentful, or stressed about your divorce and the child custody arrangement. When you see new behaviors, talk to them about it. If possible, talk to your ex-spouse and teachers, as well, so you can all be on the same page about how you are addressing these changes in behavior.
Taking advantage of two sets of rules. You are bound to hear: “But Mom lets me do it!” Just as they’ve always done, your children will test boundaries. Develop and stick to your house rules, and coordinate with your former partner if it’s possible.
Mimicking your attitude/behavior. If you are sad and depressed, your children’s behavior will likely reflect that. If you are openly angry with your spouse, your children may feel obligated to pick a side and stand up for that parent. Try to put on a happy face and let your children cope with their own emotions, not yours.
Contact Us Today to Discuss Divorce Advice for Men
If you are struggling with child custody issues, contact the knowledgeable Raleigh divorce attorneys at Charles R. Ullman & Associates today. Call or fill out our online form to schedule a consultation.