Do you know or suspect that your ex is trying to turn your child against you? That kind of behavior can affect your child’s well-being and permanently damage your relationship. You might feel stuck or unsure of what to do next. But you don’t have to handle it alone. An experienced family law attorney can help you collect compelling evidence of the other parent’s behavior and push for a positive outcome.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation happens when one parent tries to damage the relationship between a child and the other parent. This might involve speaking badly about the other parent, lying about them, or making the child feel guilty for wanting to spend time with them. Over time, these actions can cause the child to reject or avoid spending time with the other parent, even if they have done nothing wrong.
In North Carolina, the law does not use the term “parental alienation.” However, family courts may still consider this behavior in child custody cases. The court determines custody arrangements based on the child’s best interest, including whether either parent will encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent. If one parent tries to turn the child against the other, that could affect the court’s decisions about custody.
Signs of Parental Alienation
It’s easy to overlook the signs of parental alienation at first. The changes often start small and are only noticeable over time. The child might subtly begin to act differently, repeat things they’ve heard from the alienating parent, or avoid spending time with one side of the family. The behavior can feel confusing or sudden, especially if the relationship was close before.
Here are some possible signs of parental alienation:
- The child strongly criticizes one parent without clear reasons. They might say harsh or extreme things that don’t match what has actually happened.
- The child shows automatic support for one parent in all situations. Even when that parent makes a mistake, the child refuses to see it or explain why they feel that way.
- The child uses language that sounds like it came from an adult. They might repeat legal phrases or technical terms they likely wouldn’t know on their own.
- The child avoids visits with one parent without explanation. They might refuse to visit or display signs of fear that don’t match their past behaviors.
- The child suddenly rejects extended family members. They might cut off grandparents, aunts, or uncles from one side without any personal reason.
These examples don’t always mean alienation is happening. But if many of them are present, it might be worth looking into.
Legal Steps to Prove Parental Alienation
If you believe your child’s other parent has turned them against you, your lawyer could take several legal steps to bring that behavior to light in court.
Request a Custody Evaluation
Your attorney can ask the court to appoint a trained mental health professional to conduct a full evaluation of the family. The evaluator will look for signs of influence, pressure, or emotional harm and then submit a written report to the court. Judges often rely on these reports when deciding whether a change in custody or visitation would benefit the child.
Gather Records of Communication
Your lawyer might collect text messages, emails, social media posts, or voicemails to show how the other parent talks about you or acts toward you. For example, messages where the other parent encourages the child to avoid visits or says negative things about you could support a claim of alienation. These records can show the court a pattern of behavior that has gone on behind the scenes.
Call Witnesses to Testify
People who interact with your child regularly, such as teachers, coaches, family friends, or neighbors, might notice changes in how your child talks about you or acts around you. A lawyer can ask these people to speak in court about what they’ve seen or heard. Witnesses who don’t have a direct stake in the case can give the court a neutral, outside view that supports your side.
Use Expert Testimony
If your child has seen a counselor or therapist, that professional might notice behaviors that point to parental alienation. With the right permissions, a lawyer can ask the expert to testify in court about their findings. The expert could explain how the child’s words or actions line up with what often happens when one parent tries to damage the other parent’s relationship with the child.
Challenges in Proving Alienation
Proving parental alienation in court takes time and effort. The court needs clear facts, not just personal opinions. Many parents feel something is wrong but can’t always explain it in a way the court accepts. Judges require solid evidence, such as communication records, witness statements, or expert reports. Without this kind of proof, it can be hard to show how the other parent’s behavior has affected the child.
The child’s own actions can also pose a challenge in these cases. If the child says they no longer want contact, the court might believe that choice came from the child, not the other parent. That can make it harder to prove that one parent manipulated or coerced the child. Also, if both parents argue often or speak badly about each other, the court might see the conflict as shared and not one-sided.
If you’re struggling with how to prove parental alienation, you should reach out to a family law attorney. A lawyer can help parents sort through these issues, find useful evidence, and focus the case on what matters most: how the situation affects the child’s mental and emotional health.
How a Family Law Attorney Can Help
Parents facing alienation often feel isolated and unsure of who to trust. The team at Charles R. Ullman & Associates understands how painful these cases can be and can work hard to protect your role in your child’s life. When you come to us for help, we will listen to your concerns and clearly outline what we can do to help. Here’s what one past client had to say about working with our firm:
“I had a very high conflict custody case and was fortunate enough to have Charles and his team working with me. He and his office are absolutely amazing, they are kind and understanding and always willing to go the extra mile to help. I truly appreciate everything that they did to help me and my boys and I am forever indebted to him and his staff. I will highly recommend if you have to go into court that you do so with Charles and his office.” – Christie E.
If you’re dealing with parental alienation or a difficult custody situation in North Carolina, contact Charles R. Ullman & Associates to arrange your initial consultation. Charles Ullman has more than 25 years of experience and is certified as a Family Law Specialist by the North Carolina State Bar. Call (919) 829-1006 today to tell us about your case and start exploring your options.
